Movie Review: Ekk Deewana Tha (2012)

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Zero Stars (out of 4)

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“Sachin, you’re such a selfish jerk.” This is told to the main character by his best friend, and it is the core problem in a movie full of problems. The hero of the romance Ekk Deewana Tha (“There Was a Crazy Guy“) is such an odious bastard that it’s frustrating to see him rewarded with his obligatory happy ending.

The film sets itself up as a modern-day Romeo and Juliet romance between a pair of star-crossed lovers: a Hindu guy and a Christian girl. Religious differences ultimately play little part in the film except as an excuse for her father to object to the marriage (the guy’s parents don’t care). There are plenty of other, better reasons for her parents to object, namely that the guy is a possessive whack-job.

Sachin — the above mentioned “selfish jerk” — is a 22-year-old Hindu, played by a perpetually flustered Prateik. The Christian girl is Jessie (Amy Jackson), a 23-year-old financial analyst who talks during movies. Sachin sees Jessie, falls immediately in love (lust, actually), and sets about wooing her. He isn’t put off by the potential objections of her parents on religious grounds, although he is really bothered by the fact that she’s a year older than him. Huh?

He’s also not put off by the fact that she’s not interested in him. Sachin waits outside their shared apartment complex for Jessie, follows her to work, even travels across the country to see her, despite her protests to leave her alone. On their train journey back to Mumbai from Kerela, he ignores his pledge to just be friends and forcefully kisses her as she tries to push him away.

Sachin offers this defense when Jessie gets upset over his unwanted physical contact: “We were friends, but then I saw you, and I forgot about it.”

Sachin’s feelings of lust for Jessie convince him that they are a sign of his destiny. Because he feels urges, it is divine will that they be satisfied. If Jessie objects, it’s just because he hasn’t sufficiently convinced her that his understanding of the cosmic order is the correct one.

That’s not the logic of a romantic hero. That’s the logic of a rapist.

Furthering the insult to women everywhere, Jessie eventually confesses that her protestations were really her way of masking the true love she instantly felt for Sachin. Take heart, spurned lovers! When a woman says, “No!”, she really means, “Yes! I love you!”

The pain of being subjected to the archaic attitudes toward women in Ekk Deewana Tha is compounded by the fact that the film is mind-numbingly boring for all of its 137 minutes. When not being sexist and offensive, the movie spends its time being long-winded and banal, as Sachin and Jessie talk about how much she likes math and how many movies she’s seen. Listening to them was more like being forced to overhear boring restaurant conversation from a nearby table than witnessing dialogue written by a professional screenwriter.

A strong background knowledge of Bollywood is required to understand the endless, pointless movie references in Ekk Deewana Tha. Likewise, references to language differences between Hindi and Malayalam are lost on English speakers reliant upon subtitles. McDonald’s and Gloria Jeans product placements aside, this is not a film made for an audience outside of India, and Indian audiences deserve better than this.

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Movie Review: Raaz 3 (2012)

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3 Stars (out of 4)

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Note: This review covers the 2D version of the movie, not the 3D version.

I am not a fan of horror movies. I startle easily, and I’ve been known to walk out of the theater if a film is too intense. With that in mind, I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed Raaz 3.

Despite being the third film in the horror series, Raaz 3 isn’t a true sequel. None of the characters from the previous Raaz (“Secret”) films carry over into this one, though actors Emraan Hashmi and Bipasha Basu are back for a second round.

This time, Basu plays Shanaya, a superstar actress who sees her fame being usurped by a new starlet, Sanjana (Esha Gupta). When conventional prayers don’t work, Shanaya turns to black magic to dethrone Sanjana. Shanaya enlists her boyfriend, Aditya (Emraan Hashmi), to help her carry out her evil plans.

Aditya, himself a successful director, helps out of love for Shanaya and obligation to her for furthering his movie career. He casts Sanjana in his new film as a means to poison her with an evil concoction that traps her soul in the spirit world. When the spell starts to have real world consequences beyond Sanjana’s emotional torment, Aditya realizes that being loyal to Shanaya was a mistake.

As with most horror films, the scares are the gilding on a traditional morality tale. Raaz 3 is really about the dangers of ego, jealousy, and the pursuit of fame, embodied by Shanaya. A neat shot early in the film captures Shanaya sitting in her luxurious apartment in front of a wall-sized photo of her own face. Her whole apartment is a tribute to herself, and Shanaya sees a threat to her standing in the industry as a threat to her very existence.

Basu is magnificent as Shanaya. She strikes the perfect balance of rage, vulnerability, and egomania. Her fear is understandable, and that’s what makes it so dangerous. Basu plays every scene perfectly, shedding tears as Shanaya reels Aditya in, turning ice-cold the second he consents to help her.

Hashmi likewise hits the right notes with Aditya, a guy whose good nature makes him an easy target. There are some great shots of Aditya as doctors and priests speculate as to what’s wrong with Sanjana, his face revealing his internal debate over whether he should admit his role in her suffering.

Esha Gupta is outshone by her costars. It’s only her second role, so I’ll cut her some slack, but she plays Sanjana all wrong early on. Sanjana, who’s supposed to be the innocent young actress uncorrupted by fame — the foil to Shanaya — aggressively pursues Aditya romantically on the set of their film. She comes across as desperate for love, almost as desperate as Shanaya is for fame.

Even though it’s nearly 140 minutes long, Raaz 3 is paced well enough to never feel slow, and characters are given time to develop. Director Vikram Bhatt doesn’t miss an opportunity for a callback (you didn’t think you’d seen the last of that creepy clown in the photo with Sanjana, did you?). There are some cool sets as well, from Shanaya’s glamorous apartment to the eerie pond in the slum where she bargains with the evil spirit.

The fact that I was able to endure the whole movie inside the theater indicates that Raaz 3 is probably tame by the standards of hardcore horror fans. There are a number of jump scares that are (mercifully) predictable, and those don’t even start until 30 minutes into the movie. It’s minimally gory, but its R rating is reason enough to leave the kids at home.

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Opening September 7: Raaz 3

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Raaz 3 — another sequel that’s not really a sequel — opens in Chicago area theaters on September 7, 2012. The 3D horror film stars Emraan Hashmi and Bipasha Basu.

Raaz 3 opens on Friday at the Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 (2D only) in Niles, AMC South Barrington 30 (3D only) in South Barrington, and Regal Cantera Stadium 17 (2D and 3D) in Warrenville. The film is rated R and has a listed runtime of 2 hrs. 30 min. Read my review of the film here.

Despite opening to dismal collections of just $105,865 from seventy-four U.S. theaters, Joker gets a second week at the South Barrington 30 and Cantera 17. For comparison’s sake, the Tamil film Mugamoodi earned $55,501 from just twenty-two screens in its U.S. debut last weekend.

Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi gets a third weekend at the South Barrington 30, while Ek Tha Tiger sticks around for a fourth week at all of the above theaters.

Other Indian movies playing at the Golf Glen 5 this weekend include Desperate Endeavors (English), Mugamoodi (Tamil), Run Baby Run (Malayalam), and the Telugu films Shirdi Sai and Sudigadu.

I’m sad to report that the streaming video service Mela is shutting down on September 15. I updated my article on the best ways to stream Bollywood movies on the iPad to reflect the news.

In the days that Mela remains active, I recommend using it to watch the exceptional documentary Supermen of Malegoan. If you’re a masochist, check out the Hindi horror film Ghost, the current leader in the race for my worst Bollywood film of 2012. Other movies I’ve reviewed via Mela include Hate Story, Bumboo, Chaurahen, and The Forest.

The Toronto International Film Festival is underway, and this year’s City to City spotlight shines on Mumbai. The great political thriller Shanghai is among the ten films featured in the select program.

Today marked the release of the trailer for Rani Mukerji’s Aiyyaa, which opens in theaters on October 12:

Movie Review: Joker (2012)

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0.5 Stars (out of 4)

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Have you ever listened to a four-year-old girl tell a story? They usually sound something like this: “There once was a princess who flew to the moon, and then they ate cake, but she was really a donkey, and her dad was a mailman. The end.” That four-year-old girl’s story has better continuity than Joker.

Scientist Agastya (Akshay Kumar) is in danger of losing his research funding after his experimental device fails to make contact with extraterrestrials. He’s given one month to complete the project when his girlfriend, Diva (Sonakshi Sinha), informs Agastya that his brother called. His father is sick, and Agastya must return to India at once.

In India, Diva learns why Agastya kept his family a secret: he comes from a village whose population descended from patients who escaped from an insane asylum. Everyone in Paglapur is wacky, including Agastya’s brother, Babban (Shreyas Talpade), who speaks only in gibberish. (The film doesn’t bother to explain how gibberish-speaking Babban was able to communicate the message about Agastya’s sick father over the phone to Diva.)

Eventually the truth comes out: Agastya’s dad isn’t really sick. The local river has been dammed, and the villagers need Agastya’s help to get the dam removed so they can water their crops.

Unfortunately, the village was left off the survey maps created in the 1940s, and none of the regional bureaucrats want to claim jurisdiction over Paglapur. One of the bureaucrats compares the village to the joker in a deck of cards: it exists, but it doesn’t belong to any of the suits (or, in Paglapur’s case, states).

I think the bureaucrat’s explanation is where the movie lost me for good. What a dumb justification for a movie title. It’s not a great analogy in the first place, and the title is meant to prey on moviegoers’ mental shortcuts. “I think Akshay Kumar is funny, and a joker is someone who is funny, so Joker must be another funny Akshay Kumar movie. Take my money, please!”

The surprise for those unfortunate moviegoers is that Kumar plays the straight man in Joker. He spends an uncharacteristically small amount of time running around and screaming, compared to many of his recent roles. Not only is Kumar himself not funny, neither is the rest of the cast.

Babban’s ceaseless gibberish is particularly grating. It’s the most annoying vocal tic I’ve heard since that character in Golmaal Returns who speaks only in vowels.

All the wacky character tics — the guy who thinks he’s a king, the guy dressed like a centurion, the kid who thinks he’s a lamp — are cover for an inane plot that seems like it’s being made up as it goes along. Events happen with no consideration for how to get from Point A to Point B. Director Shirish Kunder just has everyone act nuts to distract the audience from the radical shifts in the plot.

There’s a mystery that runs throughout Joker: where are all the women? There’s not a single female villager in Paglapur — apart from Diva, who has little to do in the film besides look bemused — yet ladies materialize from nowhere whenever a song-and-dance number starts. The absence of estrogen in town may explain why Babban falls for the first woman he sees, a news reporter played by Minissha Lamba, in one of the most underused cameos I’ve ever seen.

So, what are the positives about Joker? Chitrangda Singh looks gorgeous in the item number “Kaafirana.” Agastya’s American nemesis, Simon (Alexx O’Nell), has a magnificent head of curly red hair. Joker‘s runtime is mercifully short, at just about 100 minutes. Those probably aren’t good enough reasons to spend $10 on a movie ticket.

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Opening August 31: Joker

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Another new Hindi movie opens in Chicago area theaters the weekend beginning August 31, 2012. Joker stars Akshay Kumar and Sonakshi Sinha in a comedy about aliens, not that you’d be able to infer that from the title.

Joker opens on Friday at the Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 in Niles, AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington, and Regal Cantera Stadium 17 in Warrenville. Joker‘s runtime is listed as 2 hrs. 30 min. at AMC’s website but is reported to be closer to 1 hrs. 40 min.

Last weekend’s new release, Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi, carries over for a second week at the South Barrington 30 and Cantera 17. Ek Tha Tiger, which has earned $2,347,774 in its first two weeks in U.S. theaters, gets a third week at all three of the above theaters.

Other Indian movies showing at the Golf Glen 5 this weekend include Kevi Rite Jaish (Gujarati), Mr. Marumakan (Malayalam), Mugamoodi (Tamil), Simhasanam (Malayalam), Srimannaraya (Telugu), and Sudigadu (Telugu).

The Chicago South Asian Film Festival announced the lineup of films for this year’s festival, which runs from September 20-23. The fest kicks off with a gala showing of Heroine and closes with the world premiere of Shobhna’s Seven Nights, starring Raveena Tandon, Lillete Dubey, and Anupam Kher.

Movie Review: Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi (2012)

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3 Stars (out of 4)

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This will come as a shock to many moviegoers (and moviemakers): rich, attractive twentysomethings aren’t the only people who fall in love. Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi (“Shirin and Farhad Made It”) bucks conventional romantic comedy protocol to tell a love story about a pair of awkward fortysomethings who fall in love for the first time.

Boman Irani plays Farhad Pastakia, a nice guy who has never been able to find the right girl. Farhad’s lack of romantic success is partially due to his shyness, but his main problem is that he sells women’s underwear for a living.

Farhad’s career is inevitably the deal-breaker in meetings with the families of prospective brides arranged by his well-meaning mother, Nargis (Daisy Irani), and his busy-body aunt, Beroze. His job certainly doesn’t help him at the matrimonial mixers staged by the local Parsi community.

The Parsi community is almost a character in its own right in the film. Every meeting or mixer organized by the Parsis (an Indian community who practice Zoroastrianism) descends into a brawl. The scenes are silly but give a sense of the social obstacles preventing Farhad from meeting a nice Parsi girl.

One of the committee members trying to keep the Parsis from killing each other is Shirin Fugawala (Farah Khan). She and Farhad meet initially at his underwear shop, and they hit it off later at a Parsi mixer. Little does Farhad know that Shirin is the committee member who ordered the destruction of an illegal water tank in Farhad’s mother’s kitchen. When Nargis realizes that her son has fallen for her sworn enemy, she forbids Farhad from marrying Shirin.

The source of the conflict is kind of weak, although it is funny that Nargis holds such a grudge over being caught doing something illegal. She’s emotionally invested in the water tank, which serves as a reminder of her late husband. Farhad’s grandmother, who lives with Farhad and Nargis, isn’t about to let something so trivial stand in the way of her grandson’s happiness.

Boman Irani is always entertaining. Though he primarily works in Bollywood as a supporting character actor, his versatility allows him to give nice-guy Farhad both vulnerability and playfulness. Irani is charming and performs to his usual high standards.

Farah Khan is likewise an unconventional choice for a lead actress. Best known as a director and choreographer, Khan usually plays herself in front of the camera. Khan is great as Shirin, a woman who isn’t single because of any flaws, but because she has more important priorities than marriage. Shirin gets along so well with Farhad initially because she’s under no pressure; she’s sure the relationship isn’t going anywhere.

Overall, the film is more amusing than laugh-out-loud funny, though there are a few great lines. Early on, a well-meaning aunt tries to find a date for Shirin, and each bachelor in her stack of photos is older than the next. The aunt points to a picture of one old-timer and says, “He’s young at heart. He just underwent a bypass.”

Links

  • Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi at Wikipedia
  • Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi at IMDb

Opening August 24: Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi

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It’s an exciting weekend for Boman Irani fans like myself. The romantic comedy Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi opens in three Chicago area theaters on August 24, 2012. (Question for Hindi speakers: what does the title translate to in English? Update: The English subtitled lyrics for the title track are translated as “Shirin-Farhad Made It.”)

SFKTNP opens on Friday at the Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 in Niles, AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington, and Regal Cantera Stadium 17 in Warrenville. It has a runtime of 1 hr. 52 min. You can read my review here.

After earning an impressive $1,484,404 in its first five days in U.S. theaters, Ek Tha Tiger carries over for a second week at all of the above theaters and the Regal Gardens Stadium 1-6 in Skokie.

Another cool opportunity for Chicago area Hindi film fans this weekend is the chance to participate in a Q&A with the director of Patang, Prashant Bhargava. Mr. Bhargava is hosting several question and answer sessions following showings of Patang at Facets Cinematheque in Chicago.

Other Indian movies playing at the Golf Glen 5 this weekend include Julayi (Telugu), Mr. Marumakan (Malayalam), and Sudigadu (Telugu).

One recently released trailer of note is for the comedy OMG Oh My God, which opens September 28:

Movie Review: Hate Story (2012)

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1 Star (out of 4)

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Hate Story is a distressing allegory about revenge. In an attempt to create an erotic thriller with an empowered female lead character, writer-producer Vikram Bhatt instead reinforces a belief system that blames women for the sexual violence committed against them.

The story begins as up-and-coming newspaper reporter Kaavya (Paoli Dam) is tipped off to a secret meeting between a judge and the CEO of a construction firm. The tip comes at dinnertime, and Kaavya’s mom is miffed that her adult daughter won’t be able to help set the table. That Kaavya’s parents treat her job as a cute hobby and not the profession it is indicates where Hate Story falls on the gender-equity continuum.

Kaavya breaks the bribery scandal with the help of her male photographer/best friend Vicky (Nikhil Dwivedi). The son of the construction firm’s owner, Sid (Gulshan Devaiya), offers Kaavya a job in order to keep her from reporting such stories in the future. Kaavya chucks her journalistic ethics and takes the job.

A lot of stuff happens in the first forty minutes of the film. Kaavya falls for Sid and sleeps with him, only to learn that the job and romance were a ruse. Sid fires Kaavya, shoves her to the ground, and points a gun at her, telling her, “I fuck the people who fuck with me.” Kaavya learns that she’s pregnant and tells Sid she’ll get half his money anyway. So he has her kidnapped and taken to an illicit country clinic for an abortion. For good measure, Sid has the doctor permanently sterilize her.

Kaavya’s natural response to this horrific violation is to want revenge. Gelding Sid seems like the most equivalent form of retribution, but it’s never mentioned. Neither is murder. Instead, Kaavya wants to ruin Sid’s business. Somehow, that doesn’t seem comparable to being raped, impregnated, and forcibly sterilized.

Even stupider is Kaavya’s plan to ruin Sid by becoming Delhi’s most sought-after prostitute. Wouldn’t her skills as a journalist be more valuable than her ability to turn tricks? Given that she directly tells a couple of male characters, “I’m sleeping with you to get info to use against Sid,” only for them to have sex with her and give her the info anyway, maybe it’s not such a dumb plan after all.

What the plan highlights is the appalling idea that a woman who’s been sexually assaulted is damaged goods, only useful for yet more sexual acts. Bhatt tries to write a few lines to explain that this was Kaavya’s choice, but I don’t buy it. First of all, the plot moves along too quickly for any meaningful character development that could explain Kaavya’s abrupt transition from innocent young woman to jaded sex worker.

More importantly, Kaavya doesn’t have any other options. After nearly dying as a result of the forced abortion, her parents disown her and leave town to avoid their gossipy neighbors. Even Vicky blames Kaavya for the rape, since she did fall in love with Sid. Vicky, who loves Kaavya, never offers to marry her and build a new life with her.

The theme of Hate Story is that revenge is a dangerous game, but the counterpart of revenge is justice. There’s never any mention of Sid going to jail for his crimes against Kaavya, and no one pursues justice on her behalf. If revenge isn’t an option either, how is Kaavya supposed to respond to her sexual assault? I’d like to know Vikram Bhatt’s response.

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Movie Review: Ek Tha Tiger (2012)

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2.5 Stars (out of 4)

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If you’ve seen one Salman Khan film, you’ve seen them all. Ek Tha Tiger (“There Once Was a Tiger”) is more polished than most of Khan’s films, but it still feels like something I’ve seen a dozen times before.

To put Khan in context for American moviegoers, he’s something like an Indian Steven Seagal. Whether Seagal stars in Hard to Kill, Under Siege, or Above the Law, it’s impossible to think of the characters as having their own individual identities: they are always, unmistakably Steven Seagal. Khan is the same way, playing the same macho action hero in all of his films from at least the last five years.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Khan was hilarious in Dabangg, a film that embraced his typical character and took it to the extreme for great comic effect. But the limitations of the “Khan” character make it hard to be surprised by any of his movies. Ek Tha Tiger is no different, despite having the expertise and lavish budget of a powerful production house like Yash Raj Films.

Khan plays Tiger, a spy employed by RAW, India’s version of the CIA. Using his superhuman wits and strength, Tiger outsmarts the agents of Pakistan’s equivalent spy agency, ISI. Tiger’s devotion to duty means that he has never had time for love, even though all of the women in his neighborhood swoon at the sight of him. He dresses like a dork and has trouble talking to women, in particular a lovely young woman named Zoya (Katrina Kaif).

Zoya is a student at Dublin’s Trinity College and a part-time assistant to an eccentric professor. RAW suspects the professor of unwittingly giving information about India’s missile defense systems to an ISI agent, and Tiger is sent to Dublin to investigate the professor’s contacts. Tiger woos Zoya as part of his mission and accidentally falls in love with her in the process.

The first half of the film feels a lot like last year’s Bodyguard, although Ek Tha Tiger isn’t as cheesy. The second half of the film raises some interesting themes, as Tiger questions whether his duty is worth sacrificing his personal happiness, especially when he suspects that the enmity between RAW and ISI may actually be keeping India and Pakistan from resolving their differences peacefully.

If you’ve never seen a Salman Khan film before, Ek Tha Tiger is a decent introduction. The production values are high, despite some shoddy CGI and an obvious instance of Khan’s face being Photoshopped on to his stunt double’s body during the opening action scene. The locations — Dublin, Istanbul, and Havana — are interesting and beautifully shot. Given American embargoes against travel to Cuba, I found the Havana scenes particularly novel.

While the incidental music in Ek Tha Tiger is sometimes corny, most of the songs in the film are pretty good. The best number, “Mashallah,” plays during the closing credits, so don’t leave the theater early.

The supporting cast is also decent. Kaif’s performance is solid, although her character is responsible for staging the worst play ever, which features a ridiculous bastardization of Pinocchio‘s “I’ve Got No Strings.” Ranvir Shorey is very good as Tiger’s best friend and fellow agent, Gopi.

As always, Salman Khan is Salman Khan. Fans of his films will find Ek Tha Tiger right in their wheelhouse. If, like me, you aren’t completely charmed by his superhuman heroics and occasional topless shots, Ek Tha Tiger is probably best reserved for DVD. It’s not a bad movie. It’s just nothing new.

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Opening August 15: Ek Tha Tiger

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Salman Khan’s Ek Tha Tiger roars its way into theaters on Wednesday, August 15, 2012. The pairing of Salman and co-star Katrina Kaif with the legendary production house Yash Raj Films guarantees that Ek Tha Tiger will do blockbuster business. To avoid the competition, no new Hindi films are being released until Friday, August 24. Additionally, Chicago area theaters are clearing their screens of all other Bollywood titles to make way for the Tiger.

Ek Tha Tiger opens on Wednesday in four Chicagoland theaters: Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 in Niles, Regal Gardens Stadium 1-6 in Skokie, AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington, and Regal Cantera Stadium 17 in Warrenville. Click here for a national theater listing. The film has a runtime of 2 hrs. 13 min.

Other Indian movies showing at the Golf Glen 5 through the weekend include the Telugu films Andala Rakshasi, Devudu Chesina Manushulu, and Julayi.