Tag Archives: Mastizaade

Worst Bollywood Movies of 2016

With a new year underway, let’s take one last look at the biggest Hindi cinema duds of last year. Here are my picks for the worst Bollywood movies of 2016. (Click on the title of each movie to read my original review.)

I’m a little loath to include Baaghi on this list because the film is so unintentionally funny, but it’s also really, really bad, so I guess I have to.

Confusing narratives land Banjo and Ghayal Once Again on the list, though Naam Hai Akira ran away with the 2016 award for Worst Overall Story Construction.

Madaari tries to paint a guy who kidnaps and threatens to kill a little kid as a hero, thus earning it a spot on the list.

All the rest of the worst films of 2016 are problematic in the way they relate to women. Shivaay is weirdly hostile, while Sanam Re is tacky and outdated.

Ki and Ka‘s comedic approach to gender norms falls flat when its male character becomes a national role model just by doing chores. Still, Ki and Ka is positively progressive compared to Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3, a movie built around the stereotype that white women are sluts.

The worst film of the year is written and directed by the same man who wrote the dialogue for Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3: Milap Zaveri. Mastizaade is hatred masquerading as comedy, a mean-spirited attack on everyone who isn’t a straight, Indian man. Zaveri’s targets include women, addicts, and non-Indians, but he’s particularly fond of picking on people with disabilities. His characters literally point and laugh at a man in a wheelchair. This is about as loathsome as a film can be. Mastizaade‘s title as my Worst Bollywood Movie of 2016 is well deserved.

Kathy’s Ten Worst Bollywood Movies of 2016

  1. Mastizaade
  2. Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 — Buy at Amazon
  3. Naam Hai Akira — Buy at Amazon
  4. Ki and Ka — Buy at Amazon
  5. Ghayal Once Again — Buy at Amazon
  6. Madaari — Buy at Amazon
  7. Banjo — Buy at Amazon
  8. Sanam Re — Buy at Amazon
  9. Shivaay
  10. Baaghi — Buy at Amazon

Previous Worst Movies Lists

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Bollywood Box Office: September 9-11, 2016

The two latest Hindi films to open in North America did quite well in their first weekend in theaters. Let’s start with the wider release of the two: Baar Baar Dekho, starring Katrina Kaif and Sidharth Malhotra. During the weekend of September 9-11, 2016, Baar Baar Dekho earned $609,640 from 143 theaters, an average of $4,263 per theater. Those numbers are significantly better than figures for Kaif’s other 2016 romance, Fitoor, which co-starred Aditya Roy Kapur. Baar Baar Dekho has already earned more than Fitoor did in its entire run ($513,879) despite the fact that it opened in twenty fewer theaters.

By a very different metric, the weekend’s other new release — the golf comedy Freaky Ali — also posted good numbers. Freaky Ali earned $42,637 from 42 theaters ($1,015 average). That may not sound like much, but Bollywood movies that open in fewer than 50 theaters in North America are lucky to earn $20,000 in their opening weekend. The second highest opening weekend gross among the Under-50 club this year was Mastizaade, which earned $28,529 from 46 theaters. A final tally for Freaky Ali in the $60,000 range would be commendable.

Naam Hai Akira didn’t fare nearly as well as the new releases. Its business fell by 88% from last weekend, with returns of just $15,364 from 66 theaters ($233 average). Ouch. Its total earnings after two weekends are $210,865.

Rustom continues its impressive run into its fifth week, earning $17,335 from sixteen theaters ($1,083). Total earnings of $1,900,485 rank Akshay Kumar’s Rustom in fourth place for the year, just ahead of Kumar’s Airlift.

Other Hindi movies still in North American theaters:

Source: Rentrak, via Bollywood Hungama

Bollywood Box Office: February 5-7

Ghayal Once Again opened to big numbers in North America, while Sanam Teri Kasam flopped hard. During the weekend of February 5-7, 2016, Ghayal Once Again earned $173,395 from 80 theaters ($2,167 average). This impressive debut for the Sunny Deol sequel was due primarily to his devoted Canadian fans. 43% of the movie’s total opening weekend gross came from 13 theaters in Canada, which accounted for just 16% of the total number of theaters in North America. The per-screen average for those Canadian theaters was $5,702, compared to $1,482 per screen in the United States.

Sanam Teri Kasam had the worst opening weekend of 2016 so far, which is saying something. It earned just $21,660 from 37 theaters, for a pathetic average of just $585. The recent anemic earnings of Sanam Teri Kasam, Mastizaade, and Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 make the case for same-day digital rental in North America, rather than theatrical releases for films that won’t bring people to the cinema. A few films tried same-day rental back in 2010 before the test was largely abandoned, but I’d love to see Eros Now revisit it.

Bollywood Hungama — which gets its information from Rentrak — didn’t post weekend earnings for Airlift, which still has a large presence in North American theaters.

Other Hindi movies still showing in North American theaters:

  • Bajirao Mastani: Week 8; $4,347 from four theaters; $1,087 average; $6,558,711 total
  • Saala Khadoos: Week 2; $3,831 from eight theaters; $479 average; $88,381 total
  • Mastizaade: Week 2; $2,233 from two theaters; $1,117 average; $43,403 total
  • Wazir: Week 5; $818 from three theaters; $273 average; $1,112,655 total
  • Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3: Week 3; $190 from one theater; $31,914 total

Source: Rentrak, via Bollywood Hungama

Bollywood Box Office: January 29-31

January 29-31, 2016, was an awful weekend for new Bollywood movies in North America. Let’s look first at the better of the two new releases. According to Rentrak data supplied to Bollywood Hungama, Saala Khadoos earned $62,920 from 58 theaters ($1,085 average). Those figures are slightly lower than those reported by Box Office Mojo — $76,931 from 70 theaters; $1,099 average. Things look rosier when factoring in collections from the Tamil version of the film, Irudhi Suttru: $83,994 from 35 theaters ($2,399 average).

The weekend’s other new release — Mastizaade — got trounced. It earned just $28,529 from 46 theaters for a per-screen average of $620. It performed so poorly that, as of Tuesday, my local theater had cut back from four showings per day to just one. Its average is even worse than Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3‘s first-weekend average of $716. For a look into Mastizaade‘s bleak future, note that KKHH3 took in just $913 from eight theaters in its second weekend ($114 average), bringing its total to $31,444.

The lesson to be learned here is: don’t open Hindi sex comedies in North America. There is no demographic here yearning for sex comedies with no sex, especially not when there are racier Hollywood alternatives in theaters and a world of raunchy stuff available to anyone with an internet connection.

There’s possibly another lesson to be learned from Saala Khadoos. Sports movies are among the most easily accessible across cultures thanks to their formulaic nature and the fact that people everywhere share a love for sport, so why not adapt the advertising in the hopes of nabbing people outside of the usual target audience?

SaalaKhadoosLook at the poster for Saala Khadoos. There’s nothing on the poster to indicate that it’s about boxing, and the title isn’t informative even if you know Hindi. Why not follow the route of festivals films and release it internationally with an evocative English title — Fighting Spirit or something like that — and then have R. Madhavan squaring off with Ritika Singh on the poster. As it stands, the poster only appeals to people who are already Madhavan fans.

In contrast, check out the poster for Neerja.Neerja It’s clearly a hijacking thriller set on a plane, and the woman with the gun pointed at her is dressed as a flight attendant. The text at the top reads “Fear gave her courage,” so we know that she must be the hero. The poster is geared toward people who haven’t already heard of the film, hoping to entice them to buy a theater ticket or add the movie to their Netflix queue. Sonam Kapoor fans are going to buy a ticket no matter what, so there’s no need to cater to them.

As for other Hindi movies still showing in North America, Airlift won the weekend, adding another $482,307 from 101 theaters ($4,775 average) to bring its two-week total to $1,534,443. Those figures may be on the low side since Rentrak didn’t report separate second-weekend earnings from Canada.

Wazir added another $7,513 from 11 theaters ($683 average) to bring its four-week total to $1,109,233. Bajirao Mastani closed out its seventh weekend with $6,966 from six theaters ($1,161 average). Its total stands at $6,551,448.

Sources: Box Office Mojo and Rentrak, via Bollywood Hungama

Opening January 29: Saala Khadoos and Mastizaade

Two new Hindi movies hit Chicago area theaters on January 29, 2016. Saala Khadoos looks the more promising of the two, with R. Madhavan playing a disgraced boxer who trains Ritika Singh to fight.

Saala Khadoos opens on Friday at MovieMax Cinemas in Niles, AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington, and Regal Cantera Stadium 17 in Warrenville. The movie was shot simultaneously in Hindi and Tamil, and MovieMax also has the Tamil version, Irudhi Suttru. Saala Khadoos has a listed runtime of 1 hr. 50 min.

The weekend’s other new release is the sex comedy Mastizaade, starring Sunny Leone, Vir Das, and Tusshar Kapoor. Last weekend saw the release of another sex comedy starring Tusshar Kapoor, and that movie totally flopped in the US. The timing of this could not be worse, regardless of whether Mastizaade is any good (which seems unlikely).

Mastizaade opens on Friday at the South Barrington 30, Cantera 17, and AMC River East 21 in Chicago. It has a listed runtime of 1 hr. 48 min.

Airlift carries over for a second week at the River East 21, MovieMax, South Barrington 30, Cantera 17, Regal Gardens Stadium 1-6 in Skokie, and AMC Loews Woodridge 18 in Woodridge. MovieMax also holds over Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 and Wazir.

Other Indian Movies playing in the Chicago area this weekend include Seethamma Ramayya Sitralu (Telugu) at Muvico Rosemont 18 in Rosemont and MovieMax, which also carries Pavada (Malayalam), Aranmanai 2 (Tamil), Lachimdeviki O Lekkundhi (Telugu), Nannaku Prematho (Telugu), Soggade Chinni Nayana (Telugu w/English subtitles), Rajini Murugan (Tamil), and Two Countries (Malayalam).