Tag Archives: Pyaar Impossible

Worst Bollywood Movies of 2010

2010’s worst Hindi movies are all bad, but one film is much, much worse than the rest. (Click on the title of each movie to read my original review.)

Lahore, Dulha Mil Gaya and Pyaar Impossible make the list for ignoring some basic rules of plot development.

The most common problem among 2010’s worst movies is unlikable main characters. Tum Milo Toh Sahi and Veer also suffer from subtitling problems, while others — Action Replayy, Milenge Milenge, Teen Patti and No Problem — are little more than Hollywood knock-offs.

Kites gets an honorable mention for the conduct of its producers, including swiping a song from Lord of the Rings without crediting the original artist, and for not paying its supporting actors.

But the worst movie of the year — possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen — is Khatta Meetha. The characters in Khatta Meetha aren’t merely unlikable; they’re morally reprehensible. And Khatta Meetha is a comedy.

A comedy can’t work if its hero is almost as bad as the villain. Khatta Meetha‘s hero, Sachin (Akshay Kumar), punches his girlfriend out of anger and, years later, harasses her to the point that she attempts suicide. There’s nothing heroic about Sachin. He’s a scumbag and an abuser. Yet the filmmakers expect the audience to see him as the charming underdog.

In the worst sequence of the movie, the villain, Sanjay (Jaideep Ahlawat), conceives of a plan to get Sachin to confront him. How is this accomplished? Sanjay and his friends gang rape Sachin’s sister and kill her.

Let me emphasize this: she’s not just attacked. She’s raped. Gang raped. And murdered. In a slapstick comedy.

How can an audience laugh after witnessing something so awful? I sure couldn’t.

A more understandable way to incite Sachin to avenge his sister — without putting off the audience completely — would have been for her to show up with a black eye, courtesy of Sanjay — provoking Sachin to beat the tar out of the villain. But that wouldn’t work in Khatta Meetha, because Sachin himself had already punched a woman in the face. This forced the writers to concoct something so unspeakably awful that even Sachin himself cannot abide it.

Is that the low standard we’re forced to accept from our comedic heroes? That their goodness is defined by their unwillingness to commit gang rape and murder?

The only reason to see Khatta Meetha is if you plan on writing a comedy and want to know exactly what not to do. Sarcastic congratulations to the creators of Khatta Meetha for making not only the Worst Bollywood Movie of 2010, but the worst movie I’ve ever paid to watch.

Previous Worst Movies Lists

Opening January 15: Chance Pe Dance

One new Hindi film opens in the Chicago area on Friday, January 15, 2010. Chance Pe Dance features Shahid Kapoor as a struggling entertainer who makes ends meet as a dance teacher. Genelia D’Souza plays his love interest. Based on the trailer, Chance Pe Dance‘s costume budget must not have included money for shirts for Shahid:

Chance Pe Dance opens at the Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 in Niles, AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington and AMC Cantera 30 in Warrenville. (The AMC theaters list the movie as “The Chance Pe Dance“). It has an official runtime of 2 hrs. 1 min.

The comedy 3 Idiots is still going strong, having earned $5,602,911 in U.S. theaters so far. It continues into its fourth week at the Golf Glen 5, South Barrington 30, Cantera 30 and AMC Loews Pipers Alley 4 in Chicago.

Last week’s new releases, Pyaar Impossible and Dulha Mil Gaya, won’t get a second week in theaters.

Other Indian films playing in the Chicago area this weekend include Namo Venkatesa (Telugu) at Sathyam Cinemas in Downers Grove and Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5, which is also showing Aayirathil Oruvan (Tamil), Adurs (Telugu), Chattambi Nadu (Malayalam) and Sambo Siva Shambo (Telugu).

Movie Review: Pyaar Impossible (2010)

1 Star (out of 4)

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Pyaar Impossible undermines its titular impossible love story with shallow characters.

Abhay (Uday Chopra) is a geeky software developer who still carries a torch for his college classmate, Alisha (Priyanka Chopra, no relation to Uday). He’s swindled out of a program he developed by a con man named “Sidhu,” played by Dino Morea, an actor unrivaled in his ability to grow a villainous mustache. The conman, whose real name is Varun, sells the program to Pinnacle Corporation.

Abhay sets up a meeting with Pinnacle’s PR officer in an attempt to get his program back and, wouldn’t you know, Alisha is the PR officer. Well, actually you wouldn’t, given Alisha’s wildly inappropriate office attire. Short shorts and a cleavage-baring top at work? Really?

After chickening out of the meeting, Abhay goes to confront Alisha at her home. Alisha mistakes him for the new nanny come to shepherd her demonic 6-year-old daughter, Tania. Abhay hides his true reason for coming over and agrees to serve as nanny.

They reach this unrealistic agreement using one of my least favorite movie conventions: Alisha won’t stop talking, so Abhay just goes along with whatever she says. With a simple, “Stop. That’s not why I’m here,” Abhay could’ve changed the entire trajectory of the film.

Pyaar Impossible proceeds to borrow liberally from any number of movies involving ill-equipped men caring for unruly children, including but not limited to the Hindi movie Thoda Pyaar, Thoda Magic and Hollywood films like The Pacifier, The Game Plan and all the Problem Child movies.

Little Tania lies somewhere between the kid from Problem Child and Damien from The Omen in terms of juvenile wilfulness. She delights in humiliating people, calling Abhay either “Froggy Four-Eyes” or “Stupid” and one of her grade-school classmates “Fatso”. This name-calling goes largely uncorrected by Abhay and Alisha, thereby undermining the movie’s argument that love is about more than looks.

The child’s use as a failed comedic plot device lies at the heart of Pyaar Impossible‘s problem: poorly developed characters. Alisha is hopelessly self-centered, treating Abhay like a eunuch servant without ever considering that he might find her attractive, let alone be a suitable romantic partner for her. Given those huge character flaws, the only reason Abhay could be so in love with Alisha is because she’s beautiful, which, again, undermines the message of the movie.

Abhay professes to want Alisha to fall in love with him because of who he is, and not because of his devotion to her, but there’s nothing to Abhay apart from his devotion to her. A romance between Alisha and Abhay isn’t inspirational, just the next logical step for a self-absorbed woman and the doormat who loves her.

Opening January 8: Dulha Mil Gaya and Pyaar Impossible

Love abounds this Friday as two new, romantic Hindi movies open in the Chicago area. First is Dulha Mil Gaya, listed at some theaters under its English title, I Found a Groom. The film interweaves the stories of four characters, all with different takes on love. Shahrukh Khan features in approximately 50 minutes of Dulha Mil Gaya‘s 1 hr. 48 min. official runtime.

This weekend’s other new release is Pyaar Impossible, an unlikely love story about a beauty and a geek starring Priyanka Chopra and Uday Chopra (who also wrote and produced the film). It has an official runtime of 2 hrs. 20 min.

Both Dulha Mil Gaya and Pyaar Impossible open on Friday, January 8 at the AMC South Barrington 30 in South Barrington and AMC Cantera 30 in Warrenville.

After earning nearly $5 million during its first two weeks in U.S. theaters, 3 Idiots is sticking around for a third week at the South Barrington 30, Cantera 30, AMC Loews Pipers Alley 4 in Chicago, AMC Randhurst 16 in Mount Prospect, Big Cinemas Golf Glen 5 in Niles and Cinemark Tinseltown USA in North Aurora.