Tag Archives: Movie Review

Movie Review: Blue (2009)

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blue2 Stars (out of 4)

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I recently read a post about older actors, including guys like Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone, who should retire from action roles. It’s time to add Sanjay Dutt to that list.

I’ll admit that Dutt was perfectly suited for his role in 2008’s Kidnap, in which he had to kick butt in order to rescue his daughter. But his role in Blue should’ve gone to a younger man.

In Blue, Dutt plays Sagar, a broke fisherman who lives in the Bahamas and works for his pal, wealthy playboy Aarav (Akshay Kumar). Their friendship doesn’t make much sense; I doubt that in real life Kumar goes clubbing with his gardener.

Even more ridiculous is Sagar’s relationship with his girlfriend, Mona (Lara Dutta). Dutta is nearly twenty years younger than Dutt and looks it. Why Mona — a hot, young woman living in the Bahamas — would settle for a poor, old fisherman with no prospects defies explanation.

After some opening scenes in which Sagar and Aarav wrestle a shark (I’m not kidding), the movie cuts abruptly to a new set of characters. A young guy named Sam (Zayed Khan) races motorcycles and gets involved with some shady people, including the lovely Nikki (Katrina Kaif). He’s paid to deliver a satchel to an address somewhere in Thailand.

As I was watching the movie, this task seemed tricky to me since Sam only had a motorcycle. Perhaps he had to take the satchel to the airport?

After an explosive motorcycle chase, Sam tells Nikki, “I’m going to hide out in the Bahamas.”

Wait! We’re not in the Bahamas anymore? A simple line on screen saying “Bangkok, Thailand” when the scenes with Sam started would’ve been nice.

Turns out Sam is Sagar’s younger brother. Much younger, apparently, since Khan is 21 years younger than Dutt in real life.

There’s only the thinnest thread of a plot holding Blue together, and it involves finding treasure on a sunken ship in order to pay off the people from whom Sam fled. Scenes involving the story account for approximately 15% of the movie; the rest is made up of chase scenes, dance numbers, underwater fights, shark footage, shots of womens’ butts and crotch-shots of bikini-clad Lara Dutta. Blue embodies the phrase “style over substance.”

The action scenes are reasonably well done, and the underwater shots are impressive. But being impressed by the movie’s technical execution doesn’t lead one to care about the characters, and I simply didn’t care about any of them.

Perhaps I’m not in the demographic Blue is hoping to appeal to. If I were a 15-year-old boy, I might be more  easily dazzled by the girls in bikinis and the water ski chase scenes. But wouldn’t a 15-year-old boy rather watch an action hero who’s closer to his own age than to that of his father? Or worse, his grandfather?

Movie Review: Wake Up Sid (2009)

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wakeupsid3.5 Stars (out of 4)

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I’m always apprehensive when the lead character in Hindi film is a rich kid. In a typical masala movie, the rich kid has great-looking friends, a hot car and becomes a vice president at a huge corporation right out of college. It’s a life that many filmmakers assume that the rest of us wish we were living.

Wake Up Sid is more sophisticated than that. Although the main character, Sid, has a cool car, his life seems like that of a real person, and not some fantasy character.

As the film begins, Sid (Ranbir Kapoor) celebrates taking his final exams with his two best friends, Laxmi (Shikha Talsania) and Rishi (Namit Das). In a rare display of realism in casting, Sid’s friends — and the rest of his classmates — aren’t all potential Miss Indias or cool dudes. They look like regular college kids. Laxmi is smart but struggles with her weight, and Rishi is an average-looking guy eager to propose to his girlfriend.

While partying, Sid meets Aisha (Konkona Sen Sharma). It’s her first day in Mumbai, where she hopes to become a journalist. Sid shows her the town after agreeing that they will nothing more than friends. He bails on his job at his dad’s bathroom fixture company to help Aisha get settled in Mumbai.

Then Sid learns that he’s failed his exams, while Laxmi and Rishi have passed and graduated. He vents his anger against them and his parents as well, who kick him out of the house and cut him off financially. He moves in with Aisha, only to discover that he has no ambition and no life skills. For the first time, Sid has to learn responsibility and find a direction.

The film ends the way you expect it to, but the way it gets there is refreshing. Early in the movie, there’s little to like about Sid. He’s fun, but he’s spoiled and ungrateful. His tense relationship with his mother feels especially realistic; he’s mean to her in a way that only an angry teen (or in Sid’s case, a spoiled twenty-year-old) can be.

As his character develops, Sid learns empathy from Laxmi, the value of friendship from Rishi, and self-sufficiency from Aisha. Sid’s maturity is so stunted that he celebrates every minor step toward independence as though he just discovered electricity.

Director Ayan Mukerji is patient enough to give the audience an accurate picture of who Sid is and then takes the time to show Sid’s incremental progress, without the movie ever feeling slow. There are a few musical montages, but no unnecessary dance numbers to stop the movie’s momentum.

Movie Review: Do Knot Disturb (2009)

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doknotdisturbZero Stars (out of 4)

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With the world in the middle of an economic crisis, there is one easy way consumers can save money: don’t waste it on Do Knot Disturb.

The movie stars Govinda as Raj, a businessman trying to hide an affair from his suspicious wife, Kiran, played by Sushmita Sen. Kiran owns the company Raj works for, so if he were to get caught with his mistress, Dolly (Lara Dutta), he’d lose his high-paying job as well as his marriage.

Raj hires a waiter to pose as Dolly’s boyfriend in order to trick a private investigator hired by Kiran. In return, the waiter, Govardan (Ritesh Deshmukh), gets an upgraded private hospital room for his ailing mother, as well as a chance to play house with the lovely Dolly.

Dolly also has a jealous ex-husband, played by Sohail Khan, who shows up to slap people. Slapping is the foundation to many of Do Knot Disturb‘s attempts at humor.

The movie’s other attempts at comedy center around men making lewd gestures at women. When the male characters aren’t slapping each other, they’re trying to grope or hump the nearest female character. It’s best to leave the kids at home for this movie, unless you’re looking for a way to broach the topic of where babies come from.

Based on the way jokes and dialog are constructed, I assume that the makers of Do Knot Disturb think that the only people who would see their movie are idiots. That would explain the following exchange between Raj and Kiran:

Kiran: Who is he?
Raj: Who is he?
Kiran: Who is he?
Raj: Who is he?
Kiran: Who is he?
Raj: Who is he?

Many other jokes rely on the comedic theory that things are funnier in threes. Repetition of the same bad jokes doesn’t automatically make them funnier. In this case, it just serves to make the movie feel a lot longer than 2 hrs. 6 min.

Early into the film, I had hopes that the movie would be, if not funny, at least not annoying. It didn’t take long for me to lose any optimism I had. After one scene in which Raj and Govardan spend ten minutes shrieking at each other in high-pitched voices for no reason whatsoever, I actually left the theater.

I convinced myself to go back in and watch the end of the movie, hoping that there would at least be some explanation for why the title contains a deliberate misspelling. There wasn’t. The filmmakers just thought it would be clever to replace “not” with “knot.” But guess what.

It’s not.

Movie Review: What’s Your Raashee? (2009)

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whatsurrashee1.5 Stars (out of 4)

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What if Stanley Kubrick had directed Mannequin? That’s what Ashutosh Gowariker’s venture into the realm of the romantic comedy feels like: an auteur squandering his talents in a genre he’s ill-suited for.

What’s Your Raashee? is a typical masala movie, in spite of being written, produced and directed by Gowariker, who was nominated for an Oscar for Lagaan.

Harman Baweja, stars as Yogesh, a recent MBA grad living in Chicago. He’s summoned home to India under the pretense that his father has had a heart attack.

His dad is actually fine. The family just needs Yogesh to get married and collect his inheritance from his grandpa in order to pay off elder brother Jitu’s debts. An astrologer predicts that Yogesh will get married in ten days time, so he’d better pick a girl quick.

Despite being smart enough to have earned an MBA from the University of Chicago, Yogesh doesn’t try to find another solution to the family’s money problems. He just goes along with their absurd scheme, following their command not to tell Grandpa about it, lest he view Jitu unfavorably.

Yogesh and his Uncle Devu cull the list of prospective marriage candidates to twelve women, one from each zodiac sign. All of the girls are played by Priyanka Chopra. Thankfully, Yogesh acknowledges their similarities in appearance, lest he come across as dimmer than he already seems for having agreed to his family’s moronic plan in the first place.

Priyanka Chopra deserves a lot of credit for even attempting to play twelve characters in the same movie. That she’s able to give them all distinct personalities and physical presences — showcased in a dance scene featuring all twelve characters on screen at the same time — is impressive.

But overall the movie disappoints, falling into the same traps as the worst Bollywood romantic comedies. There are two unnecessary, annoying side plots — one involving Uncle Devu, the other involving some gangsters — that drag the movie out and aren’t resolved in a satisfying way despite the movie’s nearly 210 minute runtime.

The movie is further dragged out by too many songs. Most of the women get their own song and dance numbers, even some of the girls Yogesh is obviously not going to marry. The routine associated with the Libra character, in which Yogesh plays a robot/puppet, is the worst number I’ve ever seen in a movie musical, Hindi or English.

There’s no reason why a romantic comedy, Bollywood or otherwise, should be more than two-and-a-half hours long. What’s Your Raashee? didn’t need to be either. Without the annoying side plots and cumbersome dance numbers, the movie would’ve been an hour shorter, making it an enjoyable if unexceptional movie.

Instead, it’s a movie best suited for watching on DVD, with your finger hovering over the fast forward button.

Movie Review: Dil Bole Hadippa! (2009)

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Dilbolehadippa!2.5 Stars (out of 4)

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Think of your favorite fast food meal – the one that you default to when you’re running late on your way home from work or when you just don’t feel like cooking. Dil Bole Hadippa! (“My Heart Goes Hooray!”) is the movie equivalent of your go-to drive thru meal: easy and predictable, but enjoyable.

Rani Mukerji plays Veera, a Punjabi girl who works for her family’s traveling theater troupe but dreams of playing cricket professionally.

She gets her chance when the national team’s manager, played by Anupam Kher, guilts his son Rohan (Shahid Kapoor) into returning from England to lead India to victory over Pakistan.

Of course, the team won’t even consider letting Veera try out; it is a men’s team, after all. Using one of the theater troupe’s fake beards, she dresses up as a man and calls herself “Veer.” She easily makes the team.

As in any romantic comedy featuring cross-dressing disguises, Veera gets to know Rohan off the pitch and out of makeup and falls for him. It’s only a question of when and how she’ll inevitably have to reveal her double life to him.

This type of story is as old as time, or at least as old as Shakespeare. There’s not much that can be done to change the formula, so all that matters is how much fun the journey is.

Thanks to Rani Mukerji, it’s a lot of fun. There’s no other actor who portrays joy as well as her, and it’s hard not to get swept up in her happiness. Shahid Kapoor does a fine job playing off of Mukerji, complementing her while never stealing the spotlight.

Following the Hindi fast-food-film formula, Dil Bole Hadippa! hits all of the major narrative touchstones: India is the best nation in the world, Indian women are the most virtuous, and the country is always better than the city.  The movie shows fertile fields, women in colorful saris, and a village festival with a Ferris wheel.

The only deviation from the stock formula is that, in Dil Bole Hadippa!, Veera and Rohan ride through wheat fields on a bike, instead of on a tractor.

The problem with this kind of fast food movie is that everyone already knows how it’s going to end – and how it’s going to reach that end. With that being the case, there’s no reason for Dil Bole Hadippa! to run as long as it does (around 2 hrs. 12 min.). The last half-hour drags. And, since the ending is predictable, it’s probably worth leaving early to avoid traffic leaving the movie theater parking lot.

Movie Review: Kambakkht Ishq (2009)

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kambakktishq1 Star (out of 4)

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By this point, if you’ve seen one Akshay Kumar slapstick comedy, such as Chandni Chowk to China, Singh is Kinng, or Welcome, you’ve seen them all. Kambakkht Ishq is no different, except that producer Sajid Nadiadwala cast three American movie stars, in the hopes of making this film a crossover hit. But the publicity-stunt casting can’t save this cliched comedy.

Kumar stars as Viraj, a Hollywood stuntman who thinks women are only good for one thing. Kareena Kapoor plays Simrita, a supermodel-surgeon (seriously) who thinks men are dogs. While trying to convince their families and friends that romance is for suckers, they inadvertently fall in love with each other. It’s a plot that’s as old as the hills, and this movie does nothing to freshen it up.

There are a number of reasons why Kambakkht Ishq won’t appeal to American audiences the way Nadiadwala hoped, beyond the predictable problem of Hindi wordplay jokes that aren’t funny when translated into in English.

First, the casting of American actors didn’t work. It was cool to see Sylvester Stallone in a Bollywood movie, but Denise Richards and Brandon Routh barely qualify as “stars” in the U.S. I’m guessing Denise Richards is referred to only by her full (and real) name throughout the movie so that Indian moviegoers can look her up on IMDb after getting home from the theater.

More confusing is the inclusion of a bunch of Australian actors in the movie, even though it’s set in Hollywood. Aussie singer Holly Valance makes a cameo appearance, despite having little name recognition in the U.S., apart from a few small parts on some canceled TV shows. And nothing snaps you out of movie faster than an L.A. thug who sounds like Crocodile Dundee.

Along those lines, the dialogue in the movie is lame, and having American actors deliver awkward lines in English just emphasizes the poor quality of the writing.

Also problematic for American audiences is a scene in where Simrita watches Viraj film stunts for a movie. The set Viraj is working on is clearly that of the Waterworld stunt show at Universal Studios Hollywood theme park. There are even empty bleachers in the background of one of the shots!

Yet the biggest reason American movie fans won’t like Kambakkht Ishq is its style of comedy. Most egregiously, some of the jokes are racist, such as when Viraj dons an afro wig and blackface makeup to trick his sister-in-law.

The rest of the slapstick-style comedy is old-fashioned by American standards, and not well executed. There are pratfalls and pies in the face, all done with over-the-top, silent-movie-style acting.

There’s also a bit with a doctor who’s lost his hearing aid that inspires predictable jokes like this:

Viraj: “I need you to check!”
Doctor: “You want to have sex?”

All of the jokes in Kambakkht Ishq have been done before, and they’ve all been done better. Given the dismal reviews American critics gave to Chandni Chowk to China, which was distributed by Warner Bros., it’s time for Indian producers to rethink pinning their hopes of achieving crossover success in the U.S. on Akshay Kumar, at least until he starts making more sophisticated comedies.

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Movie Review: New York (2009)

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newyork3.5 Stars (out of 4)

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In 2007, FBI agent Roshan (Irrfan Khan) tasks Indian immigrant Omar (Neil Nitin Mukesh) with spying on his college buddy, Sam (John Abraham), whom The Bureau suspects of being a terrorist.  The job forces Omar to deal with his feelings for Maya (Katrina Kaif), another friend from college whom he hasn’t seen since September 11, 2001: a day that changed the friends’ lives forever.

Relative newcomer Mukesh capably carries the weight of the film as Omar, even playing opposite superstars like Kaif and Abraham. The plot is detailed enough to make it a believable spy thriller, but never loses focus on the story of love and friendship at its core.

New York has the extra responsibility of addressing a sad truth. Hundreds of Muslim men were arrested by the FBI in the days after 9/11, abused and detained for months in the U.S. before being released without charges (the U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled on the related case of Ashcroft v. Iqbal). Writer Aditya Chopra and director Kabir Khan handle the subject compassionately, and yet with an objectivity I’m not sure most American filmmakers would be capable of, less than eight years after 9/11.

An American film would likely err on the side of either über-patriotism or empathy for those whose situations have driven them to violence. New York deftly avoids this by aligning itself against both extremes.

The film condemns the zeal and prejudices which led American law enforcement agents to target Muslims and men of Arab and South Asian descent. But the movie is no kinder to those ex-detainees whose desire for revenge against their captors might lead them to terrorism. Chopra & Khan’s ultimate message is that the cycle of revenge traps us all in the past.

The movie contains some graphic scenes of torture. Also, theater websites incorrectly list New York‘s runtime as 1 hr. 48 min.; it’s closer to 2 hrs 30 min.

Movie Review: Kal Kissne Dekha (2009)

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Kal Kissne DekhaZero Stars (out of 4)

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Kal Kissne Dekha is a movie about a young man with a special power: the power to bore an audience to tears by relying on Bollywood cliches.

The young man in question is Nihul (Jackky Bhagnani), a country boy who can see the future. He leaves his lonely, heartbroken mother and heads to a university in the city to become a scientist.

As is the case in many Hindi films these days, Nihul is supposedly the most awesome guy ever. He doesn’t do anything to warrant this status; it’s simply that he’s the protagonist and the plot demands it.

However, there’s a group of cool kids at college who don’t like the flashy newcomer. The mean guy and the snobby girl pick on Nihul until his psychic ability allows him to save their lives. Only then do they realize how fabulous Nihul really is.

In between motorcycle chases, fight scenes and dance numbers, Nihul falls in love with the snobby girl, Nisha (Vaishali Desai). Not for any good reason, mind you, but because the plot demands it. Then the requisite gangsters, gay stereotypes, terrorists and incompetent policemen show up, just to make sure no Bollywood cliche is left behind. It’s as though the film was written by checking items off of a list.

Kal Kissne Dekha is writer-director Vivek Sharma’s second effort, following last year’s forgettable Bhoothnath. I’d appreciate it if he’d stop making movies, and not try to see if the third time is the charm. Sharma’s storytelling style insults the audience’s intelligence by relying on cliches and stunts in place of even the barest hint of character development. And he shamelessly includes two of the young stars of Slumdog Millionaire in brief cameo appearances in order to capitalize on their fame.

If Sharma insists on writing and directing more movies, he needs to abandon two themes present in both of his efforts to date. First is the notion that the only route to popularity is by using a supernatural ability to save someone. In Bhoothnath, the young protagonist relies on his ghostly pal to pull the school bully out of a well, thereby winning the bully’s friendship. As a moral to a story, it’s a pretty depressing one for those of us without superpowers.

The second bizarre theme is that disaster befalls those who dare move out of their parents’ homes. It’s blatant in Bhoothnath, but it also crops up in Kal Kissne Dekha, as when Nihul tells his mother, “I never should have left home.” It’s a conservative message that doesn’t mesh with the fact that, by moving to the city, Nihul gets to study science, make friends and meet his girlfriend — stuff he couldn’t have done in his small village.

Retro Review: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995)

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ddlj4 Stars (out of 4)

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In Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, demure Simran (Kajol) takes a European trip with her girlfriends as a last fling before her prearranged marriage. But she falls in love with a mischievous fellow traveler named Raj (Shahruhk Khan) after they are stranded in Switzerland.

Raj must use every trick in the book to convince Simran’s father to call off her marriage — not an easy task considering Simran’s father, Chaudhry, is played by Amrish Puri, the actor best known in the U.S. as Mola Ram from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

The song and dance numbers are memorable, and the acting is terrific. DDLJ‘s charming love story has made it the most popular Indian movie of all time. If you’ve never seen a Bollywood movie before, start with this one.

Retro Review: Dhoom 2 (2006)

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3.5 Stars (out of 4)

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Abhishek Bachchan plays a cop trying to take down master thief Mr. A (Hrithik Roshan), with the help of petty criminal Sunehri (Aishwarya Rai). Mr. A’s capers would be impossible in reality. But this is a film where police are able to wait underwater on jet skis for several minutes in order to ambush the bad guys. Ignore everything you’ve ever learned about physics and the properties of the human body and enjoy this goofy, good-humored action flick.