1.5 Stars (out of 4)

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What if Stanley Kubrick had directed Mannequin? That’s what Ashutosh Gowariker’s venture into the realm of the romantic comedy feels like: an auteur squandering his talents in a genre he’s ill-suited for.

What’s Your Raashee? is a typical masala movie, in spite of being written, produced and directed by Gowariker, who was nominated for an Oscar for Lagaan.

Harman Baweja, stars as Yogesh, a recent MBA grad living in Chicago. He’s summoned home to India under the pretense that his father has had a heart attack.

His dad is actually fine. The family just needs Yogesh to get married and collect his inheritance from his grandpa in order to pay off elder brother Jitu’s debts. An astrologer predicts that Yogesh will get married in ten days time, so he’d better pick a girl quick.

Despite being smart enough to have earned an MBA from the University of Chicago, Yogesh doesn’t try to find another solution to the family’s money problems. He just goes along with their absurd scheme, following their command not to tell Grandpa about it, lest he view Jitu unfavorably.

Yogesh and his Uncle Devu cull the list of prospective marriage candidates to twelve women, one from each zodiac sign. All of the girls are played by Priyanka Chopra. Thankfully, Yogesh acknowledges their similarities in appearance, lest he come across as dimmer than he already seems for having agreed to his family’s moronic plan in the first place.

Priyanka Chopra deserves a lot of credit for even attempting to play twelve characters in the same movie. That she’s able to give them all distinct personalities and physical presences — showcased in a dance scene featuring all twelve characters on screen at the same time — is impressive.

But overall the movie disappoints, falling into the same traps as the worst Bollywood romantic comedies. There are two unnecessary, annoying side plots — one involving Uncle Devu, the other involving some gangsters — that drag the movie out and aren’t resolved in a satisfying way despite the movie’s nearly 210 minute runtime.

The movie is further dragged out by too many songs. Most of the women get their own song and dance numbers, even some of the girls Yogesh is obviously not going to marry. The routine associated with the Libra character, in which Yogesh plays a robot/puppet, is the worst number I’ve ever seen in a movie musical, Hindi or English.

There’s no reason why a romantic comedy, Bollywood or otherwise, should be more than two-and-a-half hours long. What’s Your Raashee? didn’t need to be either. Without the annoying side plots and cumbersome dance numbers, the movie would’ve been an hour shorter, making it an enjoyable if unexceptional movie.

Instead, it’s a movie best suited for watching on DVD, with your finger hovering over the fast forward button.