Movie Review: 3G (2013)

3G0 Stars (out of 4)

Buy the DVD at Amazon

There’s been much discussion recently about the role the Hindi film industry plays in perpetuating negative stereotypes of women and encouraging male violence against women. Those who hold Bollywood responsible need look no further than 3G for supporting evidence. The movie is a masterpiece of misogyny and an inept horror movie to boot.

The film starts with a laughable premise. Onscreen text informs us: “4.3 billion mobile users in the world. Every minute 60 thousand calls of unknown sources of origin received worldwide… People believe these calls are spirits trying to connect to our world.” No one believes that! Those calls from “Unknown Number” aren’t from ghosts. They’re from telemarketers.

The text disappears to make way for scenes of a happy couple at a secluded lake. Then the guy stabs the woman in the eye with a lit road flare. Roll opening credits!

We don’t see the guy again until later, as the story shifts to a couple vacationing in Fiji. Sam (Neil Nitin Mukesh) makes an absurd entrance via speedboat, only to have his girlfriend, Sheena (Sonal Chauhan), accidentally knock his cell phone into the ocean. The used 3G phone he buys as a replacement is haunted.

Sheena is apparently terrible at reading people, and she laughs at the increasingly haggard-looking Sam when he confesses that he gets calls in the middle of the night from a strange woman. At first, the woman confesses her love. Then a video shows her being murdered. Then Sam starts seeing her in person, culminating in Sheena turning into the dead lady while Sam makes out with her.

This would seem to be the classic horror plot device of a ghost contacting the living to obtain posthumous justice. Typically, Sam could rid himself of the specter by finding the woman’s body and the identity of her killer. Instead, Sam becomes periodically possessed by the spirit of the man who killed the woman, during which times he tries to kill Sheena. Or himself.

Just who exactly is haunting this phone?

The identity of the woman, Chaima (Mrinalini Sharma), and her killer, Mong (Asheesh Kapoor), are revealed late in the film. I’m not spoiling anything as there are no clues to their identities earlier in the story. They are brand new characters introduced at the last minute with no connection to other side characters, despite some nonsensical retroactive continuity.

There’s no way to explain the nature of the haunting, because the filmmakers threw a bunch of horror clichés at the wall to see what would stick. The phone is haunted because of an ancient Greek cult! Fijian witchcraft! Science!

The scientific explanations are hilarious. Apparently, Mong was a programmer trying to find a way to contact the dead by getting cell phone signals to interact with the “God particle,” or Higgs boson. Here’s the thing: THE GOD PARTICLE IS NOT GOD! It is not supernatural!

Catholic symbolism is tossed about as well, though the rosary Sam wears has no effect on him when he’s possessed, nor does the priest they consult offer any useful information.

3G could be forgiven were it just an inexpertly made horror movie, but the way it depicts women is reprehensible. According to 3G, women are objects of male lust who deserve punishment (by men) for having been objectified (by men).

Take the way that directors Sheershak Anand and Shantanu Ray Chhibber portray their lead actors. There’s one shot of Mukesh emerging from the pool shirtless, but dozens of voyeuristic shots of Chauhan. Her character is introduced emerging from the ocean in slow motion wearing a bikini. She writhes around in the sand, on a bed, and on a kitchen island, arching her back and contorting her face in simulated orgasm. The camera pans across her legs, lingering on her breasts and her buttocks.

The saddest part of the film comes when, via flashback, Chaima admits to being a porn star, the “crime” for which Mong ultimately kills her. She pleads with him for mercy, saying, “You have no idea what I escaped from.” So, Chaima left a situation so bad that working in porn is a step up, yet Mong has no sympathy for her.

The film ends with another bit of text almost as dumb as that which started the film: “13000 adult clips are downloaded every minute on mobile networks worldwide… Resulting in 27% of personal relationships breaking up.”

I’m skeptical of the stats supplied by Shantanu & Sheershak, let alone the conclusions drawn from them. Their solution to the scourge of porn is typical victim-blaming. According to them, the problem isn’t due to the millions of men who download the clips, it’s caused by the women who make the movies. Kill all the porn stars, and there will be no porn!

This is exactly the kind of sexist bullshit that Bollywood is rightly criticized for. Crimes against women aren’t committed because of movies (just like video games don’t cause mass shootings), but there are thousands of men who will watch 3G and take it as confirmation of their twisted opinions: “Women are greedy, lying sluts who will do anything for money.” This kind of misogyny is toxic and needs to stop.

Links

11 thoughts on “Movie Review: 3G (2013)

  1. JustMeMike

    From Your keyboard to my PC. I wasn’t planning to watch this as I am not a fan of horror films – especially poorly done ones. But now, with the knowledge of the agenda and the misogyny – I won’t even bother reading another review on this film.

    Maybe the fact that Eros Now has it available on the same day the film opens, is a strong indicator that ticket sales are going to be weak. And they know it.

    jmm

    Reply
    1. Kathy Post author

      Ugh. This movie is awful, Mike. There were only a handful of countries where online streaming of the film wasn’t allowed (India, Pakistan, Burma, Fiji, UAE, Mauritius, Kenya, and South Africa, specifically), which leads me to believe that those are the only countries where 3G released theatrically. It seems like Eros Now didn’t have a lot of confidence in the movie (and with good reason, apparently).

      I do think that this same-day online release is a good idea for smaller films with less notable stars. It would be a great way to promote cool indie flicks like Road, Movie or That Girl in Yellow Boots. I just hope Eros doesn’t use the Eros Now service as a dumping ground for lousy movies.

      Reply
  2. Keyur Seta

    This is infuriating! My grudge against Bollywood for objectifying women just became stronger.

    Nicely expressed, Kathy. You are one of the very few reviewers who point out such portrayal of women, just like you did in Ekk Deewana Tha. Apart from you, I didn’t see anyone else mentioning how shoddily despo was Prateek’s character and yet he got the girl he wanted!!!

    By the way, I saw Mere Dad Ki Maruti. Despite the flaws, it’s an enjoyable, fun ride.

    Cheers!

    Reply
    1. Kathy Post author

      Thanks so much, Keyur. I have faith that, over time, more reviewers — especially male reviewers — will start discussing gender issues in their reviews. Guys like you and Shah Shahid are already doing that, and that’s what will push reviewers at newspapers and other traditional outlets to make it an issue.

      Glad to hear that Mere Dad Ki Maruti was entertaining. I’m interested to check it out when it releases on DVD.

      Reply
  3. Shah Shahid

    *sighs. Neil Nitin disappoints again. To be fair, a movie titled “3G” about a phantom phone, didn’t seem like it was going to be riveting from the Trailers. This guy…

    Nothing is worse than a bad movie, than a bad movie that tries to impress a ‘message’ upon the audience. And speaking of the social impact a movie like this has, that you mention near the end… check out my continuing rant on this:

    http://blankpagebeatdown.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/media-accountability-parents-responsibility-part-1-slippery-slope/

    Reply
  4. Pingback: Streaming Bollywood Movies: Eros Now | Access Bollywood

  5. Shun Guleria

    This movie is jst a waste of time.
    Instead of this u’ve to watch Saheb biwi aur gangster returns.( good performaces by Irfan Khan and Jimmy Shergil)

    Reply
    1. Kathy Post author

      Shun, “Saheb Biwi aur Gangster Returns” isn’t available in the U.S. yet, but I’m looking forward to watching it when it is. Jimmy Shergill has grown on me, recently.

      Reply
  6. Pingback: Opening March 22: Rangrezz | Access Bollywood

  7. Pingback: Worst Bollywood Movies of 2013 | Access Bollywood

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s