1 Star (out of 4)

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Pyaar Impossible undermines its titular impossible love story with shallow characters.

Abhay (Uday Chopra) is a geeky software developer who still carries a torch for his college classmate, Alisha (Priyanka Chopra, no relation to Uday). He’s swindled out of a program he developed by a con man named “Sidhu,” played by Dino Morea, an actor unrivaled in his ability to grow a villainous mustache. The conman, whose real name is Varun, sells the program to Pinnacle Corporation.

Abhay sets up a meeting with Pinnacle’s PR officer in an attempt to get his program back and, wouldn’t you know, Alisha is the PR officer. Well, actually you wouldn’t, given Alisha’s wildly inappropriate office attire. Short shorts and a cleavage-baring top at work? Really?

After chickening out of the meeting, Abhay goes to confront Alisha at her home. Alisha mistakes him for the new nanny come to shepherd her demonic 6-year-old daughter, Tania. Abhay hides his true reason for coming over and agrees to serve as nanny.

They reach this unrealistic agreement using one of my least favorite movie conventions: Alisha won’t stop talking, so Abhay just goes along with whatever she says. With a simple, “Stop. That’s not why I’m here,” Abhay could’ve changed the entire trajectory of the film.

Pyaar Impossible proceeds to borrow liberally from any number of movies involving ill-equipped men caring for unruly children, including but not limited to the Hindi movie Thoda Pyaar, Thoda Magic and Hollywood films like The Pacifier, The Game Plan and all the Problem Child movies.

Little Tania lies somewhere between the kid from Problem Child and Damien from The Omen in terms of juvenile wilfulness. She delights in humiliating people, calling Abhay either “Froggy Four-Eyes” or “Stupid” and one of her grade-school classmates “Fatso”. This name-calling goes largely uncorrected by Abhay and Alisha, thereby undermining the movie’s argument that love is about more than looks.

The child’s use as a failed comedic plot device lies at the heart of Pyaar Impossible‘s problem: poorly developed characters. Alisha is hopelessly self-centered, treating Abhay like a eunuch servant without ever considering that he might find her attractive, let alone be a suitable romantic partner for her. Given those huge character flaws, the only reason Abhay could be so in love with Alisha is because she’s beautiful, which, again, undermines the message of the movie.

Abhay professes to want Alisha to fall in love with him because of who he is, and not because of his devotion to her, but there’s nothing to Abhay apart from his devotion to her. A romance between Alisha and Abhay isn’t inspirational, just the next logical step for a self-absorbed woman and the doormat who loves her.